Since child hood, I remember I was not a happy child, because there will be something running in my mind ,hearing arguments was a common thing at my home, I go to school everyday seeing that and it makes me feel sad whole day, that I couldn't concentrate on my studies. All the other fellow students looks so energetic and happy while I was too sensitive and silent. All I wanted that time was to see my parents stay happy and with love ,but they never be. When I start realize that they are not in a healthy relationship I was just 10 years .I don't remember anything before that.
Even when I was small, I don't ask for toys or anything i like, I wear what they asked me to , I go where ever they asked me to because I thought I have been a trouble for them. I was so sensitive that time, even if a person speaks louder I cry . I had a sister ,even she hated me so much, she didn't even wanna see me. She used to scold me when ever I go in front of her. I was hated by everyone, I felt like even my shadow hates me.
Now only I realized ,No one hated me, but my low self-esteem made me think that I'm lower than everyone and they hates me. There there were many times that I wanted to run away from home. Even I had days I asked god to take my life if I am useless to this world. I couldn't study well ,because I couldn't concentrate on studies as I was always worrying about my parents who always fight. No one was there to motivate me or appreciate me at that time even if I get 98% in Mathematics, my parents didn't have time for that ,but they had time for the business they were running at that time.
Often people come to our place to buy cloths as my father's side business was textiles. My mother too was involved in that, she dealt with women who comes to buy, They were too busy in earning money. People were thinking I was so rich. He had vehicles more than his needs, he started building a big house for us too, though I never seen my parents stayed in love. They never spoke kindly with each other they didn't separate neither they love I remember when I was 10 years old, my father and mother were not talking to each other for about a month, I was so saddened by that ,I was too small to ask them why don't you guys stay peacefully , why you both makes me and my sister cry all the time and makes us ashamed in front of people, this matter has finally went to my uncles they came to our house to talk about this issue with my parents, they told my mother, that woman should be patient with husbands no Matter what and made my father win in that argument.
I couldn't stop crying, my face has gone red and blown like a balloon. I was asking God that please do not separate me parents. I didn't know what was wrong with them ,but my father used to scold my mother and she is s quick tempered and starts a fight. I was so irritated by these things .
He wanted me and my sister to study well ,but he never gave us a good environment to study. When ever I start studying I hear a noise shouting. He had no any bad habits but he used to doubt us and our mother.my father who wants to go outing all the times ,but he doesn't want to take my mother with him. I was no so strong at that time to refuse to go outing without my mom. I gets so upset to leave her and go . Now I'm 30 years old and I'm happily married to my man, I'm a proud mother of two boys and u lead a happy life .when my father brought me this proposal I just refused to get married just because of my parents who led a bad relationship. I thought every men will be like this and there won't be a marriage life with happiness.
But after I get married to to him , I just realized that every men are not same. We have arguments but we never fight. We argue even when our kids are not around, If he did any mistakes he never forgets to apologies and me either. He buys everything I ask him if he can. he wants me to look good, he wants to see me smile and I'm too. My little boys are happy to see us talking together, going out together. I made kids to give them happiness. I never wanted to feel then 'why the hell i came to this world' .Coming to a place where no peace isn't their mistake. If you wanna give your kids the real happiness show them that as a husband and wife you both love each other honestly. Let them lead a peaceful life. If you are not happy together do separate and find happiness where you can have it. I finally realized That I was suffered from low self -esteem since my child hood just because of my parents and led me fail in studies and made me think that I cannot achieve anything in Life. Every human has a unique talent they just need a platform and courage to show it, lets encourage our kids to find it and do it. Low self-esteem is when someone feels lack of confidence about who they are are and what they can do.
Those who suffers from this will often feel incompetent ,unloved or inadequate. So if you truly love your kids let them see and feel that you both are in love as parents.
10 WAYS TO BOOST SELF ESTEEM
1. STOP COMPARING YOUR SELF TO OTHERS.
2.COMPLIMENT YOUR SELF REGULARLY.
3.MAKE A LIST OF ALL YOUR POSITIVE QUALITIES
4.EXPLORE A PASSION.
5.DON'T RUSH TO I CAN'T.
6.GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ALONE WITH YOUR SELF.
7.TRY NEW FOODS
8.AVOID TOXIC PEOPLE
9.KEEP IN MIND THAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE,
10.DO NOT LEAVE THINGS FOR TOMMOROW.
Keep your self busy that you have no time to worry. Keep smiling and keep others happy too. Just don't forget that you can never change any one ,even your parents . They lived in different society, and they are all grown ups that they don't listen you. Change your self if you see any bad habits you do that you got from your parents that's the only change you can do . Work according to your mind. Stay healthy stay happy .
Thanks for reading.
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